Thursday, October 27, 2011

My Afternoon with Jan the Locksmith

Now that you've all had a chance to read about my Friday night,
here is Part 2 of the weirdest weekend of my life.

So, after the whole police incident the night before,
I woke up Saturday STILL having absolutely no idea
where my keys were.

Julia checked her car.
Landon checked his.
I checked my whole apartment.
The KH clubhouse.
I even called the Maverik we went to for frozen yogurt.
No luck.

SO, in an attempt to quickly solve the problem,
I passed up a free ticket to the football game
inadvertently missing out on all this fun:
and decided to call a locksmith to get a new key made.

The first guy I called
(who for the record was Bilco Safe and Lock)
snottily told me it would cost $250 and would be at least an hour wait
just because it was a Saturday afternoon.
I'm sorry - I obviously intentionally lost my keys
on a Saturday afternoon to inconvenience YOU.

So, as I went further down the list, the price magically
got cheaper and cheaper.
I finally settled on a nice guy named Jan at
AA Lockout Specialist
who said he'd do it for $85 and be over in 10 minutes.

Jan got to my car at 3:30pm.
I had no idea at the time that he would be there for almost 5 hours.
First, he used the trunk lock
Which was so corroded that he couldn't figure out how to make the key.
Plus, even if the key was right, it probably wouldn't open the lock, he tells me.
I always thought it wouldn't open just because I had a valet key or something...

So two hours later, Jan decides it's a better idea to go through my passenger side door
and promptly begins to take my door apart until it looks something like this:
(not my car, but you get the idea...)
Mind you, I can't exactly leave this stranger with my car,
so this whole time I'm sitting on the curb
learning way more about locksmithery than I ever needed to know.

Jan says the door lock is much easier to use than my corroded trunk one.
But for some reason, no key he makes
(and he churned out about 7 of them)
will turn the lock.
By 7:45, it's getting dark, I've spent my entire afternoon sitting on a curb
and I am frustrated to the max.
That's when I get a phone call from Landon
"Dude, I just found your keys..."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
Apparently my keys managed to wedge themselves deep into the
inner recesses of Landon's passenger seat.
They were also caught red-handed using an Invisibility Cloak.

So, I relay this news to poor Jan the Locksmith
who kindly begins to put my entire car back together
while telling me a story about how his truck got stolen when he was a student at BYU.
I guess it could've been worse...

The kicker came when Landon dropped off my keys.
Jan takes one look at them, shakes his head and sticks my car key in the passenger door.
The lock doesn't turn.
He walks around to the as-yet-untouched driver's side.
The key obviously works.
He then proceeds to grab the very first key he made 3.5 hours ago...
Opens my driver's side door on the first try.
All I could say was
"You've got to be kidding me."

Moral of the story:

On the plus side, if anyone ever needs a good locksmith, I can give a great recommendation...

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