Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Keys, Cops and Caleb Blood: A Normal Friday Night

WHAT a weekend. My Friday/Saturday/Sunday was an insane mix 
of a perfect college weekend and a case of "you've got to be kidding me..."
Ready for the story? 
This is Part 1

Friday night started out perfectly great.
First on the agenda was dinner with Emily.
Introducing her to the joy of Pasta Factory turned out to
be more difficult than we expected. Neither of us were able to finish 
our food. The worst part was that we had to skip the Never-on Sundae...
Then, Phase 2 of the night began here:
to meet up with some other friends for our former wardie
Caleb Blood's show.
Naturally, we insisted on being right in front
of the stage to cheer him on. Caleb is an incredible
musician - remember his name because he's going to be
huge one day.
After the show, we eventually made our way back to King Henry,
effectively distracted Landon from his homework and decided
to hit up Maverik for some frozen yogurt.
This is where the trouble started...

On the way back from Maverik, I realized I had
somehow managed to misplace my keys.
If you know me, this comes as no surprise.
I lose important things (i.e. keys, wallet, etc.) roughly
5 million times a week.
They always turn up.
But this time, the search proved fruitless - my keys had vanished.

By 2 am, I decided to check my car to see if I left them there
after moving it from the parking lot to the street.
(Note to self: BUY A PARKING PASS)
Without thinking, I walked to my car and opened the passenger side door.
My first thought was "Oh good they must be in here!"
Then the alarm started going off. 
If you haven't ridden in my car, you need to know it's a little booby-trapped
and that since I was in a hurry when I parked, 
I forgot to specifically lock my tricky passenger side door.

Since my alarm is already going off, I decide I might as well just look for my keys.
Turn the lights on, quickly search my front and back seats.
In frustration, I slam the door.
Finally, the alarm goes off, but I think to myself
"Why aren't the lights turning off?"
That would be because I didn't turn them off before closing the door.
Smart Glenn.

Now I have yet another dilemma on my hands:
Do I open the door, set the alarm off again and turn off the lights?
Or do I leave the lights on and not risk waking up the entire neighborhood 
again at 2:30 in the morning?
In a stroke of inspiration, I remember that my key fob is 
sitting on my desk in my room.
So I run back and grab it, thinking I've solved this whole problem.
But upon reaching my car again, I'm greeted by two of these:
Apparently someone called the cops because
it looked like I was trying to steal my own car.
I calmly explain the situation to Officer #1 while Officer #2 sits
in his car for back-up. Because I clearly look like a dangerous criminal
in my sweater and Snoopy PJ pants...
To prove my innocence, Officer #1 asks me to unlock the car with my fob.
No prob.
I pull it out of my pocket, click unlock...nothing happens.
Nervous laugh. Click it again. And again.

Now Officer #1 is looking at me like I'm an idiot.
The battery must be dead, I explain.
But here's my license! Just radio the license plate in, it's registered
in my parents' names!
Satisfied I've fixed this ridiculous situation, I sit back and listen as
Officer #1 radios in my license plate number.
The person on the other end radios back and it takes me
a few seconds to realize that
the names I'm hearing over the static are 
NOT my parents' names.
Now it looks like I've lied to Officer #1 twice in five minutes.
At this point, all I can think is "This must be a joke.
Where's Ashton? I must be getting Punk'd right now."
Officer #1 doesn't think it's very funny.
Then all I could think was how I was going to 
call my parents from a jail cell at 
2:30 AM and explain that I got arrested
for trying to steal MY OWN CAR.

In the end, I convinced him to let me break into my car
one more time, turn off the lights, and grab the 
registration from the glove box.
With my innocence sufficiently proven Officer #1 and Officer #2
(who never actually got out of his car...)
drove off into the night,
leaving me standing next to my car.
Alarm going off full blast.
Waking up the entire neighborhood for the 2nd time
 at 2:30 in the morning.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hahah i love the pictures added to enhance the story