Tuesday, April 1, 2008

What Will You Do With The Time That's Left?

It is officially April. The last month of my first year of college. I have been dreading its arrival since about the 1st week of October. I move back home in 25 days. That is exactly 3 weeks and 4 days. That is hardly any time. I remember when I had 25 days left in St. George. It literally makes me sick to my stomach to fathom the end of this experience. And the funniest thing about all this is that it's totally unexpected. I didn't expect to feel this way about leaving. I had no clue coming into this that I would walk away from this schoolyear with 6 of the best friends I've ever had. That wasn't on my priority list at all. It just happened. And now basically the biggest concern in my mind is going back to STG without these people. My mom has tried to get me to just relax and enjoy the rest of my time here. Which is what I should do. But that's not how I am and that's not how I react when change is coming. I stress. I worry. I get emotional. I question whether I'm making the right choice to visit home this weekend, with such limited time left to spend with people in Provo. Hopefully in two years, we will all be back together just like this amazing year. I know I need to learn to be more accepting that change is a natural thing I constantly have to deal with. But this is just the way I am. I hate change. I hate goodbyes. I hate that nothing this amazing can last forever.

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