Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Day 5

Day 5 out here on Survivor. And that pretty much sums up what I'm doing - surviving. It's not the worst of times, but it's not the best of times. I really miss BYU. But seeing my friends is nice. And Cami comes home on Saturday. I am surviving. Now if I could just find the Hidden Immunity Idol...

P.S. I'm thinking my blog will slow down considerably now, if not die completely, because I really have nothing super exciting to post anymore. And I'm living with 2/3 of the people who read my blog, so they already know what's going on. Just a warning

Sunday, April 27, 2008

The End of an Era

I am officially back from BYU. And it's been really difficult but I'm surviving. If you can't guess, I really miss, as Abe would call it, "our little posse". Saying goodbye to everyone was the hardest, saddest thing I've had to do for literally years. But we had a blast and really made the end of the semester count, so I have absolutely no regrets.
Last Saturday, we went out to dinner at Winger's
(Something was really spicy!!!)
These pictures are from our sleepover at Dani's house in Alpine.
And then, it was time to say goodbye. This from our last morning together before everyone left...

We also did lots of other stuff, like going to dinner on our last night at California Pizza Kitchen, played Rock Band at Best Buy for hours, and throwing a BBQ for Andy's 19th birthday! Looking back on the past 8 months, it has been the most amazing, life-changing school year of my life. I have learned so much about myself and the person I am trying to become. I made some of the best friends I have ever had and every day, I made new memories that I will look back on and cherish. It's really amazing because literally every day was nothing but pure fun, excitement and adventure. We had nothing but good times together, and while I miss them SO much, I am comforted in the fact that we will always be the best of friends, and I look forward to the time after our missions when we can move into a REAL apartment together and continue our amazing friendship. I love you guys. I am so grateful for this experience and everything you have taught me. I don't know what to do without you guys.

Friday, April 25, 2008

2 Down, 4 to Go...

In the only positive news of the day, after 4 weeks of waiting, Elder Christian Dee Page has been called to serve in the Harrisburg, Pennsylvania Mission. Sadly, by the time he got his call today, everybody else had already left for home, but I was there representing! Congrats C! We are all so proud of you!

Andy: Bolivia, Santa Cruz

Chris: Pennsylvania, Harrisburg

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

36 Hours and Counting

3 days left. I'm subconsciously (or is it consciously?) freaking out. I can detect all of my pre-moving behavioral shifts happening - not sleeping, constant anxiety, forgetting to eat, restless agitation when I'm alone, unnecessary cleaning of my room (SERIOUSLY). It all happened when I left for college and now it's happening when I'm leaving for home. Or do I, in some weird way, view this as a type of home now? So many questions like this take over my mind every minute of the day.I stress about balancing my time between spending it with friends and constructively preparing to leave (packing finally started for real last night during one of those sleepless periods.) Friends take priority 99% of the time. But that makes me worry that I won't be done packing when they're ready to take me home. I'm so disorganized. Who would have ever thought I would be this anxious/nervous/sick to my stomach about moving BACK home. Back to what I thought was my comfort zone. To be perfectly honest, I do not want to move home right now. I cannot imagine going through the next three months (not to mention the next 2 years) without the 6 people who have become the Cabinet to my President. Or the Entourage to my Vincent Chase (if you get that reference, I totally love you). Not that I'm the leader of the group, we really have no leader, but they are my circle of trust, my inseparable bros. (Yes that includes Dani.) I'm sorry. I'm totally stressing. And rambling. It's just that moving back to St. George at this point almost seems like a kind of step backwards. I don't want to go through last summer all over again because I already that a year ago. It was great, but I have no desire to do it again. Yet, what other choice do I have? ... Exactly. But if there's one thing this is teaching me is that something this virtually perfect (I'm totally serious with that adjective) can't last forever. I don't want to leave these people. And yet I'm moving on Friday. Someone please tell me how to deal with this because if you can't tell, it's kind of turning me into a total mess.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Morning on the Balcony

This is my good friend Kendall. This morning, I found K playing his guitar on the balcony of our building. In our pajamas, with nothing but that guitar and the brisk chilliness of a sun just starting to wake up, (this day COULD turn out to be warm, the high is almost 70) we talked for a good hour and a half about every random subject we could think of. He had never heard the infamous "moving to STG" story and I had never heard his "Kendall was a rebel until the 11th grade" story. It was a great morning, and a relaxing way to start off finals. A good memory with a good friend. Love ya K.
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Something to Look Forward To...

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With all the confusion and stress of upcoming finals and moving home, I realized something kind of big had completely slipped my mind. We're going to have a 6 Reunion at the beginning of May! Cami's flying back from Pittsburgh before she starts her summer performing at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, VA, and with Karly, Taylor, and I coming home from college, we will have 10 days of complete, uninterrupted time together. 10 days that are sure to be filled with fun things like the Drama Banquet (Cami, Taylor and I are presenters), my and Karly's 19th birthday, and an endless string of Golden Spoon, dance parties, afternoons playing games, going to lunch, movie nights, dinners, photo shoots, making music videos, etc. I'm so excited and it will help keep my mind off how sad I am to be leaving my friends up here!
Plus, these specific 10 days will be particularly special. Because, not only will it be the first time we've all been in St. George since Christmas break, it will also be the LAST time we will all get to be together for at LEAST 2 years - probably longer! Because after this reunion, Cami's going to VA and then back to Pittsburgh, Karly's jetting off to London at the end of June, Chelsea's off to pursue her big dreams at the University of Michigan, and I will be who-knows-where on my mission come sometime in August. So it literally will be our last summer together for a while.
And the prospect of that got me thinking...It's going to be very interesting for us to all sit down together and talk. Because it's been a year since the band "broke up" and four of us moved away from STG. In the past year, we have each had such drastically different experiences and we've all grown and matured and changed quite a bit. Truth be told, we each have our own separate lives and worlds now, and getting to reconnect with each other during this summer, no matter how short a time we get, is something to be really grateful for. It's going to be downright intriguing to see the evolution of each of us over this past year. How much can one short year change a group of friends? I'm really looking forward to finding out.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Life is Beautiful

I haven't posted anything about my day-to-day goings-on in Provo lately, so here's a quick update... Oh and before we start, my trusty camera spent most of this past week visiting Megan's apartment, so sorry for the lack of pictures. Now to begin!

This past week(ish) has been total insanity. I have been nothing but busy finishing my classes, studying for finals, working on my mission papers, and fulfilling all the necessary ward/for-no-particular-reason social engagements. SO, starting with last weekend, here is everything that has been going on!!!
Saturday started with my ward closing social - a big BBQ at Bishop Rogers' house! Amidst all the great food and friends, the ward had voted on a bunch of funny awards the week before, kind of like Preference in high school. I was voted "Most Likely to Be the Next American Idol" which I found kind of funny since I never really sang for anyone in the ward! But it was really nice to be recognized in the ward of so many talented people. I also got nominated for "Most Likely to Star in the Singles Ward 3" (Kendall won) and "Most Likely to Marry a Celebrity Rolling in Dough" (Brent won and Andy was also nominated for this one), which I'm not sure are as much of a compliment haha! I don't know what it says about us that 3 of the 4 nominees for marrying a rich celebrity were from our little group of friends...ha. Abe was up for "Best Comedian", and the guys' apartment won "Best Personality" (which my REAL apt. was nom'd for too! My roommates seemed kind of confused). The best award we won as a group though was "Most Likely to Stay Friends and Have Their Kids Become Roommates." Now, it technically went to Felt 32, (Abe, Brent, etc's apt), but they said I was definitely included in the award since I'm Roommate #7. Since none of us voted, it was a really cool thing for the rest of the ward to recognize our group of friends.

Saturday night was the Heritage Invitational dance, which ended up basically being a college prom. But it was really fun. I went with Megan Knell and we went with all my friends and their dates (except Abe, who was in Kaysville). I don't have any pictures because they are all on Meg's camera but I will post those ASAP.
Sunday was the best Sunday I have had in Provo all year. In sacrament, Abe, Andy, Brent, Chris, Dani, and I sang "God Be With You Till We Meet Again." It went really well and I realized after we finished that it was the first time I had done anything in sacrament this whole year besides bear my testimony! Sunday also blessed us with 75 degree weather so after church, we decided with some girls from Fox Hall to have a big picnic out on the lawn. During the picnic, we were attacked by a rival picnic with a bunch of confetti-filled Easter eggs! It was such a beautiful day and it was so nice to just relax with friends.

The day didn't stop there! After the picnic, us six boys+Dani+Michel+Kelsey went to dinner at Chris's house. His mom made us the BEST homecooked meal and it was really cool to just be sitting around the dinner table with my best friends and reminisce about this crazy year that brought us together. We ended up spending almost 3 hours at his house laughing about good memories and good times. (I'm getting pics of this from Dani).

Monday and Tuesday were the last two days of classes for the semester! I can't believe I will have no more lectures, homework assignments, labs, quizzes and tests for two whole years!! The only thing left are finals, which start on Friday. Monday was a beautiful 80 degree weather and that night I went to Karly's to celebrate the return of One Tree Hill after a month of no episodes. On Tuesday, to mark the end of school, our tri-hall put together a "Kick Off Summer (After Finals are Over) BBQ. Except there turned out to be one little problem. It snowed on Tuesday. Yes, snowed. A day after the weather was 80 degrees. The weather is one thing I will not miss about this place. The BBQ was moved inside though, and we enjoyed the free food!!! Before the snow decided to descend on us, I played volleyball with Kendall, Abe and Andy, which was a blast, but also very chilly in shorts and bare feet. After two losses and a team switch, Abe and I beat Kendall and Andy. Which means I have finally beaten Kendall in volleyball, something I haven't done since his team won at FOL all the way back in August!
Which finally brings me to today. After spending the morning re-reading chapters of my chemistry textbook, I spent today once again with the guys (Dani is in STG with her family. So jealous.) We're really trying to spend as much time as possible together because a week from today, people will start leaving. Don't want to think about it. Anyways, to celebrate the end of classes and the first Reading Day, instead of hitting up the library like responsible college students, we got off-campus and headed to KFC with wardies Jordan Farley, Darrik Cheney, and C.J. Chacon. Seeing Brent and Mich put away an entire bucket of fried chicken in one sitting made my day.

So that was my week. With only one week left to spend with my friends, I'm finally learning to appreciate the here and now. I'm so grateful for my experiences here. This has been everything I wanted, needed, and then some. Life is beautiful.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Lately for some reason I can't get my mind off decisions I need to be making two years from now... SO, I'm thinking (and hoping) that maybe if I blog it out of my system, it will stop bugging me for a while. Where to start? Well, I suppose the best place would be the biggest issue. Which is whether or not to come back to BYU when I get back. That's the biggest decision. And I know I don't actually have to make it for like 24+ months and I could have totally changed my mind by then, but as of right now I really don't know the answer to this one. I like BYU but I don't love it. I knew this was where I was supposed to be for this year, and I've learned why. But I don't know if it's what I want to come back to. Alot about this year has been really difficult on me, and my grades this semester are going to be the absolute worst they've ever been. This horrible weather is my own personal living nightmare. I mean seriously! It's April and it feels like January. Seriously. On the other hand, I've talked a little bit with my friends about moving in together when we get back, and after a year of playing Roommate #7, I could finally get away from living with crazies and having to walk upstairs every night to go to bed. So my mind isn't totally made up. BYU? UVU? Somewhere else? And this isn't the only thing on my mind but I'm really tired so I'll add to this rant later.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Last Visit Home!

I have officially made my last 4 hour drive back to Provo against my will! This weekend I went down to STG with Karly and it was my last visit before I move home! Some trip highlights include:
  • Going to Vegas with Chelsea for her voice lesson and dinner
  • The look on Chelsea's face when I noticed the Jazz game in Chilis and wanted to watch it
  • A Rocket Summer Musical (Chels and I are totally gonna do it ha)
  • Jordan's surprise b-day bash (so awkward with the class of 08, but so fun with Jacee Ashley, and Chelsea - we're totally the cool group)
  • Lunch with Mom and Spencer
  • 80 degree sunshine! (I came back to hail and snow yesterday)
  • General Conference
  • And best of all...Whitney's baptism on Sunday!!!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

What Will You Do With The Time That's Left?

It is officially April. The last month of my first year of college. I have been dreading its arrival since about the 1st week of October. I move back home in 25 days. That is exactly 3 weeks and 4 days. That is hardly any time. I remember when I had 25 days left in St. George. It literally makes me sick to my stomach to fathom the end of this experience. And the funniest thing about all this is that it's totally unexpected. I didn't expect to feel this way about leaving. I had no clue coming into this that I would walk away from this schoolyear with 6 of the best friends I've ever had. That wasn't on my priority list at all. It just happened. And now basically the biggest concern in my mind is going back to STG without these people. My mom has tried to get me to just relax and enjoy the rest of my time here. Which is what I should do. But that's not how I am and that's not how I react when change is coming. I stress. I worry. I get emotional. I question whether I'm making the right choice to visit home this weekend, with such limited time left to spend with people in Provo. Hopefully in two years, we will all be back together just like this amazing year. I know I need to learn to be more accepting that change is a natural thing I constantly have to deal with. But this is just the way I am. I hate change. I hate goodbyes. I hate that nothing this amazing can last forever.